The 2009 SEC season is just days away and, as usual, promises to be full of intrigue. Some of the major questions facing teams this year include: Will Florida be able to handle the unbelievable and expectations? How will the Volunteers do with their new coacheing staff? Will Steve Spurrier finally admit he just doesn’t have it anymore and retire like he should’ve done after last season? How will Georgia replace Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno? Was Vanderbilt’s bowl season a fluke or can Bobby Johnson get the ‘Dores back to postseason play?
Here’s how I see the SEC EAST playing out:
1) Florida: Yeah, I know, real original, but how do you not pick the Gators here? They return 18 starters from a national title team, including all 11 from a nasty defense that gave up more than 21 points only once last year. They have one of the greatest players in NCAA history in Tim Tebow leading the offense and one of the best OLs in the country. Anything less than another national title is a disappointment for these Gators.
2) Georgia: Sure the Bulldogs have to replace more than anyone in conference – first round draft picks Stafford and Moreno – but they return a very solid group of players, particularly on the OL, which is key to winning in the SEC. No one will confuse new QB (5th year senior) Joe Cox with Stafford, but the coaching staff won’t ask Cox to do as much. Instead, they’ll rely on a capable group of RBs to pound the ball behind the OL. It certainly doesn’t hurt to have AJ Green as a bailout option should Cox get in trouble.
3) Tennessee: The Volunteers spot here is as much an indictment of the rest of the SEC East as it anything else. Without getting into the shenanigans coming of out of Knoxville since new UT HC Lane Kiffin was brought in, this team is basically average at best. Eric Berry is one of the all-time great DBs to play in the SEC, and if weren’t playing in the era of Tebow, he’d get a lot more publicity than he does. The staff Kiffin has assembled is impressive, but it doesn’t help the fact that Jonathan Crompton was named the starting QB for this season. That can’t bode well. With 8 home games, including 5 of the first 6, the Vols will get back to a bowl this year.
4) South Carolina: Steve Spurrier is hitching his wagon to Stephen Garcia this season, for better or for worse. I can’t imagine that this will end well for the Gamecocks. There’s no reason to believe the Gamecocks will be better than last year, which ended with 3 straight lackluster blowout losses. USC had one of the worst rushing offenses in the country last year and lost their starter from last season. With a tough schedule, I’d be surprised to see the Gamecocks reach bowl eligibility. For Spurrier’s sake, I hope he gets out while he still has some hair.
5) Vanderbilt: There’s really not a way to explain how Vanderbilt made it to a bowl last year. It’s similar to Sylvester Croom leading MSU to the Liberty Bowl or Les Miles leading LSU to an MNC. The ‘Dores were kissed by an angel last year, ranking near the bottom of the league in nearly every offensive and defensive category. They return 17 starters from last season’s Music City Bowl champion team, but it’s hard to imagine them catching the same breaks over and over like they did last season. Like the Gamecocks, I’ll be surprised if the Commodores are bowling after this season.
6) Kentucky: This year’s ‘Cats could very closely mimic the 2008 version. They return 12 starters from the Liberty Bowl champion team, but, in all honesty, they just weren’t all that great last year. They benefitted from a ridiculously soft non-conference schedule and limped into bowl eligibility. This year, the non-conference slate is a little more difficult, but the SEC schedule is not as favorable. That 6th win may not come this season. CB Trevard Lindley is the 2nd best DB in the league, but that might not be enough to get UK to a 4th straight bowl.
Showing posts with label Vandy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vandy. Show all posts
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
SEC Football as Tom Hanks movies
So I'm a few New Belgium Mighty Arrows into the Final Four games Saturday night and start thumbing through the guide during a commercial break when I stumbled across three Tom Hanks movies on at the same time. While the beer certainly didn't live up the standards set by its Fat Tire brethren, it did help inspire this ridiculous post.
So, here they are, without further ado, all 12 SEC football teams as Tom Hanks movies. Got better suggestions? Leave ‘em in the comments.
Alabama: Turner & Hooch
Detective Scott Turner is a straight laced, no frills kind of detective. Nick Saban is a no-nonsense, no frills kind of coach – never a hair out of place in his feathery bangs. Between his owner dying and pairing up with Turner, Hooch was a mess. He drooled everywhere, tore things up, and basically a lost cause. Between the Bear dying and before hiring Saban, Alabama was much the same way. Sure they would do well every now and then, but they had to cheat to do it. They bought a national title in the early 90s, then suffered through several ignominious years before hiring Saban.
Arkansas: Catch Me If You Can
In his early days, Frank Abagnale imitated an airline pilot, a teacher’s assistant, a doctor, and an attorney. When things took a turn for the worse, he’d disappear in the night and move on to his next gig. Finally, after getting busted, he aligned himself with Hanks’ Carl Hanratty and began improving national fraud defense. Bobby Petrino is currently at his 12th coaching spot since entering the business in 1983. He’s been the head coach of 3 different teams in the last 5 years and has flirted with several others. He seems to have found a niche in Fayetteville though and the Hogs have a chance to be much improved from last season.
Auburn: Apollo 13
Before takeoff, everyone was excited about Apollo 13’s mission to the moon. Last season was supposed to be a good one for Auburn. A new high-flying offense was in place, the defense returned 6 of its starting back 7, and the Tigers were ranked as high as #10 in the preseason. Needless to say, much-like the ill-fated Apollo 13 lunar mission, Auburn’s season encountered problem after problem. There was bickering amongst staff before finally crashing roughly back to earth at the end. The major difference being that Jim Lovell was congratulated for his leadership in the “successful failure” that was Apollo 13; Tommy Tuberville was inexplicably shown the door.
Florida: Sleepless in Seattle
After Sam Baldwin's wife died, he looked lost and clueless, and didn't know who to turn to. He packs up and moves out west and begins dating a girl that his son can't stand. He finally meets the one he's meant to be with at the end and live happily ever after. After Spurrier left Florida, the Gators looked lost and clueless, seeking solace in the arms of Ron Zook, who the Gator Nation hated from the beginning. Now, they've found Urban Meyer and have won 2 titles in 3 years and will be favored to win it all next year.
Georgia: Bonfire of the Vanities
Tom Wolfe’s Bonfire of the Vanities is a fantastic novel that was a bestseller and huge success. Unfortunately, despite a All-Star cast with Hanks, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Melanie Griffith, etc., the movie version pretty much sucked. When you read about Georgia’s team, the star power was obvious – Stafford, Moreno, Green, etc. Expectations were very high, including a preseason #1 ranking. Then, much like BotV, when you watched it on TV, you realize it’s a little disappointing on screen.
Kentucky: Saving Private Ryan
The beginning of Saving Private Ryan – the storming of the beaches at Normandy – is absolutely phenomenal. It’s beautifully crafted cinematography at its peak. Once the movie settles in though, it’s really not that different from every other war movie ever filmed. There’s a little bit of a twist at the end of the movie to tie it all together. The last two seasons, Kentucky has started out as well as possible: 5-0 and 4-0. Once the seasons settled in, the ‘Cats were average at best, finishing only 7-5 and 6-5. The bowl victories were nice surprises to wrap up the seasons.
LSU: The Man with One Red Shoe
Richard Drew is just an average joe who - due to circumstances beyond his control - looks goofy as he wears mismatched shoes on a flight. He is identified as a CIA target, and though he remains completely oblivious to everything around him, it all works out for him in the end. Les Miles always looks goofy wearing the world's largest hat and was certainly an average joe at Oklahoma State - 28-21 overall, 16-16 in the Big 12. And things have certainly worked out well for Miles so far, despite a seemingly oblivious approach to coaching.
Mississippi State: You’ve Got Mail
While I'm not a fan of either Sleepless in Seattle or You've Got Mail, I know a cheap knock off when I see one. The producers of You've Got Mail were trying to cash in on the chemistry that Hanks and Meg Ryan had in Sleepless in Seattle, but the result just wasn't as good. Same thing in Starkville. Hoping to recreate some of the recent magic in Gainesville, the Bulldogs hired away Dan Mullen from Meyer's staff, and while the results have yet to be seen, it's hard to imagine the end result being anything less than a poor attempt at recreating UF's offense.
Ole Miss: That Thing You Do!
Mr. White takes a group of talented musicians with no experience outside the town of Erie, PA, and molds them into the No. 1 rock band in the country. Houston Nutt, stepped into Oxford and took a group of talented kids who had never been shown "how to win" and recorded a 9-4 season and a Cotton Bowl victory. The major difference being that The Wonders broke up at the end of the movie, while Nutt seems to have the Rebels in place to continue their success.
South Carolina: Volunteers
Lawrence Whatley Bourne III had it all. He was a spoiled rich kid leading a pampered life until he had to join the Peace Corps to escape his creditors. Steve Spurrier had it all. He’d won a National championship as the coach of his alma mater, had the Gators as one of the top programs in the entire country, and a fun punching bag in Phil Fulmer. He got greedy, left for the NFL, and when that didn’t work out, sought refuge in Columbia where – so far – has done more to tarnish his legacy than build upon it.
Tennessee: The Terminal
What? You were expecting Volunteers? Think about it… Viktor Navorski can’t go back to whence he came as a war broke out. So he’s stuck in a foreign land, has trouble communicating with people, garners strange looks from people, and eventually makes some important friends in the airport. That’s pretty much the Lane Kiffin experience. He can’t go back to the NFL because he angered Al Davis, he’s become a one-man sideshow that it’s hard not to stop and stare at, he's found it very difficult to communicate with his peers, but he did surround himself with a knowledgeable staff.
Vanderbilt: Big
All Josh Baskin wanted to be was big. He couldn’t get the girl or ride the roller coaster, so Zoltar granted him his wish. He grew up, moved to New York and got to play with the big boys, before wishing to be a boy again. After years of wishing they were big, the Commodores finally broke through last year with their first bowl appearance since 1982. Unfortunately, like Josh Baskin’s appearance as an adult, Vandy’s was a ruse and one that won’t last, but one that made for good tv while it did.
So, here they are, without further ado, all 12 SEC football teams as Tom Hanks movies. Got better suggestions? Leave ‘em in the comments.
Alabama: Turner & Hooch
Detective Scott Turner is a straight laced, no frills kind of detective. Nick Saban is a no-nonsense, no frills kind of coach – never a hair out of place in his feathery bangs. Between his owner dying and pairing up with Turner, Hooch was a mess. He drooled everywhere, tore things up, and basically a lost cause. Between the Bear dying and before hiring Saban, Alabama was much the same way. Sure they would do well every now and then, but they had to cheat to do it. They bought a national title in the early 90s, then suffered through several ignominious years before hiring Saban.
Arkansas: Catch Me If You Can
In his early days, Frank Abagnale imitated an airline pilot, a teacher’s assistant, a doctor, and an attorney. When things took a turn for the worse, he’d disappear in the night and move on to his next gig. Finally, after getting busted, he aligned himself with Hanks’ Carl Hanratty and began improving national fraud defense. Bobby Petrino is currently at his 12th coaching spot since entering the business in 1983. He’s been the head coach of 3 different teams in the last 5 years and has flirted with several others. He seems to have found a niche in Fayetteville though and the Hogs have a chance to be much improved from last season.
Auburn: Apollo 13
Before takeoff, everyone was excited about Apollo 13’s mission to the moon. Last season was supposed to be a good one for Auburn. A new high-flying offense was in place, the defense returned 6 of its starting back 7, and the Tigers were ranked as high as #10 in the preseason. Needless to say, much-like the ill-fated Apollo 13 lunar mission, Auburn’s season encountered problem after problem. There was bickering amongst staff before finally crashing roughly back to earth at the end. The major difference being that Jim Lovell was congratulated for his leadership in the “successful failure” that was Apollo 13; Tommy Tuberville was inexplicably shown the door.
Florida: Sleepless in Seattle
After Sam Baldwin's wife died, he looked lost and clueless, and didn't know who to turn to. He packs up and moves out west and begins dating a girl that his son can't stand. He finally meets the one he's meant to be with at the end and live happily ever after. After Spurrier left Florida, the Gators looked lost and clueless, seeking solace in the arms of Ron Zook, who the Gator Nation hated from the beginning. Now, they've found Urban Meyer and have won 2 titles in 3 years and will be favored to win it all next year.
Georgia: Bonfire of the Vanities
Tom Wolfe’s Bonfire of the Vanities is a fantastic novel that was a bestseller and huge success. Unfortunately, despite a All-Star cast with Hanks, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Melanie Griffith, etc., the movie version pretty much sucked. When you read about Georgia’s team, the star power was obvious – Stafford, Moreno, Green, etc. Expectations were very high, including a preseason #1 ranking. Then, much like BotV, when you watched it on TV, you realize it’s a little disappointing on screen.
Kentucky: Saving Private Ryan
The beginning of Saving Private Ryan – the storming of the beaches at Normandy – is absolutely phenomenal. It’s beautifully crafted cinematography at its peak. Once the movie settles in though, it’s really not that different from every other war movie ever filmed. There’s a little bit of a twist at the end of the movie to tie it all together. The last two seasons, Kentucky has started out as well as possible: 5-0 and 4-0. Once the seasons settled in, the ‘Cats were average at best, finishing only 7-5 and 6-5. The bowl victories were nice surprises to wrap up the seasons.
LSU: The Man with One Red Shoe
Richard Drew is just an average joe who - due to circumstances beyond his control - looks goofy as he wears mismatched shoes on a flight. He is identified as a CIA target, and though he remains completely oblivious to everything around him, it all works out for him in the end. Les Miles always looks goofy wearing the world's largest hat and was certainly an average joe at Oklahoma State - 28-21 overall, 16-16 in the Big 12. And things have certainly worked out well for Miles so far, despite a seemingly oblivious approach to coaching.
Mississippi State: You’ve Got Mail
While I'm not a fan of either Sleepless in Seattle or You've Got Mail, I know a cheap knock off when I see one. The producers of You've Got Mail were trying to cash in on the chemistry that Hanks and Meg Ryan had in Sleepless in Seattle, but the result just wasn't as good. Same thing in Starkville. Hoping to recreate some of the recent magic in Gainesville, the Bulldogs hired away Dan Mullen from Meyer's staff, and while the results have yet to be seen, it's hard to imagine the end result being anything less than a poor attempt at recreating UF's offense.
Ole Miss: That Thing You Do!
Mr. White takes a group of talented musicians with no experience outside the town of Erie, PA, and molds them into the No. 1 rock band in the country. Houston Nutt, stepped into Oxford and took a group of talented kids who had never been shown "how to win" and recorded a 9-4 season and a Cotton Bowl victory. The major difference being that The Wonders broke up at the end of the movie, while Nutt seems to have the Rebels in place to continue their success.
South Carolina: Volunteers
Lawrence Whatley Bourne III had it all. He was a spoiled rich kid leading a pampered life until he had to join the Peace Corps to escape his creditors. Steve Spurrier had it all. He’d won a National championship as the coach of his alma mater, had the Gators as one of the top programs in the entire country, and a fun punching bag in Phil Fulmer. He got greedy, left for the NFL, and when that didn’t work out, sought refuge in Columbia where – so far – has done more to tarnish his legacy than build upon it.
Tennessee: The Terminal
What? You were expecting Volunteers? Think about it… Viktor Navorski can’t go back to whence he came as a war broke out. So he’s stuck in a foreign land, has trouble communicating with people, garners strange looks from people, and eventually makes some important friends in the airport. That’s pretty much the Lane Kiffin experience. He can’t go back to the NFL because he angered Al Davis, he’s become a one-man sideshow that it’s hard not to stop and stare at, he's found it very difficult to communicate with his peers, but he did surround himself with a knowledgeable staff.
Vanderbilt: Big
All Josh Baskin wanted to be was big. He couldn’t get the girl or ride the roller coaster, so Zoltar granted him his wish. He grew up, moved to New York and got to play with the big boys, before wishing to be a boy again. After years of wishing they were big, the Commodores finally broke through last year with their first bowl appearance since 1982. Unfortunately, like Josh Baskin’s appearance as an adult, Vandy’s was a ruse and one that won’t last, but one that made for good tv while it did.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
It's the coaches, stupid
Much like football season, we've heard all season long how the SEC is way down in basketball this season. While the football claims were proven a bit incorrect, there is no disputing the fact that the SEC just isn't what it used to be in hoops. This article in the Nashville City Paper lists a few possible reasons why, but it leaves off the most important reason: the quality of coaches just ain't what it used to be.
We're certainly as guilty as any school in the conference as we clung to Rod Barnes two years too long. Once Marc Dukes retired, the program spiraled to the ground at breakneck pace. And while the SEC was never filled with future HOF coaches, it never had as high a percentage of bad coaches as it has had in the last few years.
Here's a breakdown of the current SEC coaches:
Stars:
Florida
Billy Donovan is obviously the most accomplished coach in the SEC, but the Gators haven't been quite the same since Anthony Grant took the head job at VCU (which is 76-25 in his 3 years there.) There's always an influx of good talent in Gainesville, and the man's got two national titles.
Tennessee
Talk about breathing new life into a program. Pearl took over the Vols after a series of non-descript sleepy coaches and has Knoxville talking men's hoops for a change.
Solid:
Mississippi State
I'll put aside my bias here and say that Rick Stansbury has far exceeded my expectations there. When he was hired, his only real qualification was being Richard Williams' bag man, but he's got the Bulldogs as one of the most consistent programs in the conference.
Vanderbilt
Kevin Stallings has done some good things as Vanderbilt, certainly better than Jan van Brenda Kolfff. The 'Dores have been fairly consistent winners under his watch. They slipped a bit this year, but bring back a solid nucleus of players for next season.
Headed in right direction:
LSU
Aaah, John Brady. Uber-recruiter, but couldn't tell you an X from an O. And he always looked disheveled on the sidelines. Sure the Tigers made a few nice runs in the tourney under Brady's watch, but those were done on talent alone. Trent Johnson is a good coach, but we'll know more next year when he actually has to play underclassmen.
Ole Miss
Again, I'll put my bias aside (as best I can) and say that the hiring of Andy Kennedy was a very good one. He had the team on the bubble his first two seasons in Oxford, and held together a train wreck of a season this past year.
South Carolina
Darrin Horn brought a higher energy level than Dave Odom did, but my grandmom probably would too. It's a bit early to make the call on him, but he won big at WKU, and he's off to a good start in Columbia.
Next to be purged:
Auburn
Jeff Lebo's job was on death's door in the early part of last season before a late season rally saved him. He's a decent enough coach, but there's no reason to believe he'll be anything more than an average coach in the SEC.
Arkansas
John Pelphrey is a joke. I know the Hogs are enamored with him, I just haven't figured out why. Had he not played at Kentucky, there's no way the Ginger Kid hired by an SEC school. I understand the Hogs firing Stan Heath. It was a questionable hire from the beginning after just one year of success with an inherited Kent State team. But Pelphrey is not the answer. Not one player on that team this year got better as the year wore on. He'll be fired after the 2010-11 season.
Kentucky
The 'Cats - like Arky - made an outright bad choice when they hired Billy Gillispie. He's been the mastermind of some of the most embarrassing losses in UK history and is the architect of the first Wildcat team in nearly two decades to not Dance at the end of the season. It's gotta be tough for the Big Blue to see Pitino and Louisville as the #1 overall seed and Tubby Smith and Minnesota making a (very brief) appearance in the Tourney. As long as Gillispie's there, it's tough to see them doing anything but underachieving. I'd not be surprised to see John Calipari roaming the UK sidelines next year.
In Transition
Alabama
Mark Gottfried patrolled the sidelines for 10+ years in Tuscaloosa and brought in several highly touted players. While he did take the Tide to the Elite 8 in 2003-04, that's about it. Alabama brass has said they'll pay ~$2M to bring in the right coach this time. Whether it's Mike Anderson or Tim Floyd or Anthony Grant or Oliver Purnell, it'll certainly be a step in the right direction from Gottfried.
Georgia
As long as the Bulldogs avoid the publicity stunt and not hire Bobby Knight, they can make a real upgrade from Dennis Felton. They made the worst hire in recent SEC history several years back with Jim Harrick, but with Anthony Grant available, it's hard to imagine he's not in Athens next year.
We're certainly as guilty as any school in the conference as we clung to Rod Barnes two years too long. Once Marc Dukes retired, the program spiraled to the ground at breakneck pace. And while the SEC was never filled with future HOF coaches, it never had as high a percentage of bad coaches as it has had in the last few years.
Here's a breakdown of the current SEC coaches:
Stars:
Florida
Billy Donovan is obviously the most accomplished coach in the SEC, but the Gators haven't been quite the same since Anthony Grant took the head job at VCU (which is 76-25 in his 3 years there.) There's always an influx of good talent in Gainesville, and the man's got two national titles.
Tennessee
Talk about breathing new life into a program. Pearl took over the Vols after a series of non-descript sleepy coaches and has Knoxville talking men's hoops for a change.
Solid:
Mississippi State
I'll put aside my bias here and say that Rick Stansbury has far exceeded my expectations there. When he was hired, his only real qualification was being Richard Williams' bag man, but he's got the Bulldogs as one of the most consistent programs in the conference.
Vanderbilt
Kevin Stallings has done some good things as Vanderbilt, certainly better than Jan van Brenda Kolfff. The 'Dores have been fairly consistent winners under his watch. They slipped a bit this year, but bring back a solid nucleus of players for next season.
Headed in right direction:
LSU
Aaah, John Brady. Uber-recruiter, but couldn't tell you an X from an O. And he always looked disheveled on the sidelines. Sure the Tigers made a few nice runs in the tourney under Brady's watch, but those were done on talent alone. Trent Johnson is a good coach, but we'll know more next year when he actually has to play underclassmen.
Ole Miss
Again, I'll put my bias aside (as best I can) and say that the hiring of Andy Kennedy was a very good one. He had the team on the bubble his first two seasons in Oxford, and held together a train wreck of a season this past year.
South Carolina
Darrin Horn brought a higher energy level than Dave Odom did, but my grandmom probably would too. It's a bit early to make the call on him, but he won big at WKU, and he's off to a good start in Columbia.
Next to be purged:
Auburn
Jeff Lebo's job was on death's door in the early part of last season before a late season rally saved him. He's a decent enough coach, but there's no reason to believe he'll be anything more than an average coach in the SEC.
Arkansas
John Pelphrey is a joke. I know the Hogs are enamored with him, I just haven't figured out why. Had he not played at Kentucky, there's no way the Ginger Kid hired by an SEC school. I understand the Hogs firing Stan Heath. It was a questionable hire from the beginning after just one year of success with an inherited Kent State team. But Pelphrey is not the answer. Not one player on that team this year got better as the year wore on. He'll be fired after the 2010-11 season.
Kentucky
The 'Cats - like Arky - made an outright bad choice when they hired Billy Gillispie. He's been the mastermind of some of the most embarrassing losses in UK history and is the architect of the first Wildcat team in nearly two decades to not Dance at the end of the season. It's gotta be tough for the Big Blue to see Pitino and Louisville as the #1 overall seed and Tubby Smith and Minnesota making a (very brief) appearance in the Tourney. As long as Gillispie's there, it's tough to see them doing anything but underachieving. I'd not be surprised to see John Calipari roaming the UK sidelines next year.
In Transition
Alabama
Mark Gottfried patrolled the sidelines for 10+ years in Tuscaloosa and brought in several highly touted players. While he did take the Tide to the Elite 8 in 2003-04, that's about it. Alabama brass has said they'll pay ~$2M to bring in the right coach this time. Whether it's Mike Anderson or Tim Floyd or Anthony Grant or Oliver Purnell, it'll certainly be a step in the right direction from Gottfried.
Georgia
As long as the Bulldogs avoid the publicity stunt and not hire Bobby Knight, they can make a real upgrade from Dennis Felton. They made the worst hire in recent SEC history several years back with Jim Harrick, but with Anthony Grant available, it's hard to imagine he's not in Athens next year.
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