Showing posts with label Alabama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alabama. Show all posts
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
2009 SEC West Preview
The SEC West has as many if not more questions entering 2009. Will the Rebels finally break through and make it to Atlanta, thus robbing Mississippi State fans of their one football talking point? How will MSU and Auburn do with their new coaching staffs? Can Alabama and LSU answer their questions at QB? Can Arkansas’ defense stop anyone?
Here’s how I see the SEC WEST playing out:
1) Ole Miss: Call it a homer pick if you want to, but the talent is there in bunches and the schedule is as favorable as it comes. The Rebels have far and away the best quarterback and most explosive offense in the division and the defensive front 7 are strong as well. There are questions in the secondary and how the Rebels will handle their lofty rankings, but this is the year the Rebels break through.
2) Alabama: If the offense had as few questions as the defense, the Tide would be the pick in the division. Instead, Alabama returns just 4 starters on offense and is replacing a senior quarterback and 3 offensive linemen. That spells trouble in the SEC. I think McElroy will have a solid season and the OL will be sufficient, but in a division with DLs like the Rebels and LSU Tigers have, that could be troublesome for the Tide.
3) LSU: I’ve yet to figure out how this is a top 10 team by most accounts, but apparently that’s just me. The Tigers sport a plethora of highly ranked players at nearly every position on the field, but this team lost 5 games last year. The defense should be better under John Chavis, but what has QB Jordan Jefferson shown anyone that has them so excited. They’ll finish 3rd, but only because Arkansas has a more difficult schedule.
4) Arkansas: From hearing Arkansas fans talk, we all know by now that new quarterback Ryan Mallett is 7’3, runs a 4.5 40, and can stand on his head in one end zone and throw a football and knock an apple off DJ Williams head in the other end zone. Blindfolded. The Hogs’ offense should put up some points provided the OL comes together and give Mallett time to throw the ball. The Hogs are loaded with talented skill position players on offense. The biggest question marks are on the defense, which was just plain bad last year.
5) Auburn: After a drama-filled embarrassing season last year, the War Eagle Tiger Plainsmen are just looking for some stability. The hiring of Gene Chizik was, erm, questionable at best, and he, like Kiffin and Dan Mullen inherit a mess on offense. Chizik hired Gus Malzahn as his OC to run a spread offense with pro-style offense players, just like Tuberville did with Tony Franklin last year. While the recruits are buying in, for now, it’s hard to imagine things going well on the Plains this year.
6) Mississippi State: After suffering through 5 years of Sylvester “Media Darling” Croom and never finishing in the top 100 in the country in total offense, the Bulldogs kicked the fraud to the curb and replaced him with Florida OC Dan Mullen. Mullen plans to run a similar offense to Florida, one that teams in the SEC have had several years to adjust to, and he’ll be running it with an empty cupboard. So far, Mullen is saying all the right things for the MSU fanbase – season ticket sales hit a record last week – but it’ll be an ugly year in Starkville in 2009.
Here’s how I see the SEC WEST playing out:
1) Ole Miss: Call it a homer pick if you want to, but the talent is there in bunches and the schedule is as favorable as it comes. The Rebels have far and away the best quarterback and most explosive offense in the division and the defensive front 7 are strong as well. There are questions in the secondary and how the Rebels will handle their lofty rankings, but this is the year the Rebels break through.
2) Alabama: If the offense had as few questions as the defense, the Tide would be the pick in the division. Instead, Alabama returns just 4 starters on offense and is replacing a senior quarterback and 3 offensive linemen. That spells trouble in the SEC. I think McElroy will have a solid season and the OL will be sufficient, but in a division with DLs like the Rebels and LSU Tigers have, that could be troublesome for the Tide.
3) LSU: I’ve yet to figure out how this is a top 10 team by most accounts, but apparently that’s just me. The Tigers sport a plethora of highly ranked players at nearly every position on the field, but this team lost 5 games last year. The defense should be better under John Chavis, but what has QB Jordan Jefferson shown anyone that has them so excited. They’ll finish 3rd, but only because Arkansas has a more difficult schedule.
4) Arkansas: From hearing Arkansas fans talk, we all know by now that new quarterback Ryan Mallett is 7’3, runs a 4.5 40, and can stand on his head in one end zone and throw a football and knock an apple off DJ Williams head in the other end zone. Blindfolded. The Hogs’ offense should put up some points provided the OL comes together and give Mallett time to throw the ball. The Hogs are loaded with talented skill position players on offense. The biggest question marks are on the defense, which was just plain bad last year.
5) Auburn: After a drama-filled embarrassing season last year, the War Eagle Tiger Plainsmen are just looking for some stability. The hiring of Gene Chizik was, erm, questionable at best, and he, like Kiffin and Dan Mullen inherit a mess on offense. Chizik hired Gus Malzahn as his OC to run a spread offense with pro-style offense players, just like Tuberville did with Tony Franklin last year. While the recruits are buying in, for now, it’s hard to imagine things going well on the Plains this year.
6) Mississippi State: After suffering through 5 years of Sylvester “Media Darling” Croom and never finishing in the top 100 in the country in total offense, the Bulldogs kicked the fraud to the curb and replaced him with Florida OC Dan Mullen. Mullen plans to run a similar offense to Florida, one that teams in the SEC have had several years to adjust to, and he’ll be running it with an empty cupboard. So far, Mullen is saying all the right things for the MSU fanbase – season ticket sales hit a record last week – but it’ll be an ugly year in Starkville in 2009.
Labels:
Alabama,
Arkansas,
Auburn,
LSU,
mississippi state
Friday, August 21, 2009
SEC Offensive Skill Players rankings, per Chris Low
He's very high on the quarterbacks (#2) and wide receivers (#1), but not so high on the running backs (#7).
Unless you're Steve Spurrier, the quarterback ranking goes without saying. Jevan Snead is the best pro prospect quarterback in the league, but should certainly rank behind Tim Tebow as a college quarterback. The wide receiver rating wasn't unexpected either as the Rebels are extremely deep there and catching passes from Snead is going to boost anyone's numbers.
I do think, by the end of the season at least, that we will rank much higher in the running back ratings. He has this to say about our stable of backs:
Low also ranked Alabama, Mississippi State, and Auburn (AUBURN?) ahead of the Rebels. In his brief synopsis of Alabama's RBs, he points out that this pick is dependent on a variety of factors. With Alabama's green offensive line this year and a new QB, I don't know that the Tide will match last year's production.
As for State, sure Dixon's a good back and he's been around forever, but how effective is he going to be in such an impotent offense?
But the biggest problem I have is Auburn being ranked ahead of the Rebels. I get that when there's a running back by committee like the Rebels have, it can tough to gauge the talent level of each back effectively, but these rankings are for units as a whole. The Rebels averaged nearly 50 more rushing ypg last year (186.5 ypg to 137.5 ypg). The Rebels ranked 2nd in ypg, Auburn ranked 6th. Ben Tate, who Low singles out, averaged 55 ypg and scored a whopping 3 TDs.
That hardly sounds like a team that should be ranked ahead of the much more explosive Rebels.
Unless you're Steve Spurrier, the quarterback ranking goes without saying. Jevan Snead is the best pro prospect quarterback in the league, but should certainly rank behind Tim Tebow as a college quarterback. The wide receiver rating wasn't unexpected either as the Rebels are extremely deep there and catching passes from Snead is going to boost anyone's numbers.
I do think, by the end of the season at least, that we will rank much higher in the running back ratings. He has this to say about our stable of backs:
7. Ole Miss: It will be interesting to see how the rotation shakes out at Ole Miss. Brandon Bolden is the No. 1 guy right now, but Cordera Eason has looked a step faster in the preseason. Enrique Davis has a world of talent, and the coaches really like sophomore Devin Thomas and true freshman Tim Simon.It's not really the top 3 teams I have an issue with. LSU was predictably first with (overrated) Chares Scott leading the way and Michael Smith and crew landed Arkansas #2. Florida RBs, who Low ranks #3, are hard to get a real read on because of the style of offense that the Gators run, but there's no denying they'll be productive.
Low also ranked Alabama, Mississippi State, and Auburn (AUBURN?) ahead of the Rebels. In his brief synopsis of Alabama's RBs, he points out that this pick is dependent on a variety of factors. With Alabama's green offensive line this year and a new QB, I don't know that the Tide will match last year's production.
As for State, sure Dixon's a good back and he's been around forever, but how effective is he going to be in such an impotent offense?
But the biggest problem I have is Auburn being ranked ahead of the Rebels. I get that when there's a running back by committee like the Rebels have, it can tough to gauge the talent level of each back effectively, but these rankings are for units as a whole. The Rebels averaged nearly 50 more rushing ypg last year (186.5 ypg to 137.5 ypg). The Rebels ranked 2nd in ypg, Auburn ranked 6th. Ben Tate, who Low singles out, averaged 55 ypg and scored a whopping 3 TDs.
That hardly sounds like a team that should be ranked ahead of the much more explosive Rebels.
Labels:
Alabama,
Auburn,
Florida,
Jevan Snead,
LSU,
mississippi state
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Nutt, Saban, and Coaching Trends
You can add Shane from the Capstone Report to the growing list of bloggers who are latching onto the Anti-Ole Miss Bandwagon, though, like most, he lacks creativity in his reasoning. It's not quite Finebaumian in its lack of legitimate points, but it's close:
I do find it interesting though that he brings up coaching trends. In his 13 seasons of being a head coach in college football, Saban’s teams have won 10+ games 3 times: 2001, 2003, and 2009. His teams won 8 and 9 games in 2002 and 2004 respectively, meaning he’s never won 10+ games in back to back seasons. It’s going to take 6+ SEC wins to win the SEC West this year, meaning the Tide will need 10+ wins to secure it. According to Shane’s logic, history always repeats itself, so there’s no way Alabama win double-digit games this year, right?
Also, given Saban's inability to win double-digit games in back-to-back seasons, this statement becomes even more outlandish than it first appears:
But hey, it's all just posturing at this point. All that matters is this... both teams have a legitimate shot at being undefeated when they clash on October 10th, setting up the biggest game in Oxford in decades, certainly since LSU in 2003. The winner of that game will have the inside track for the SEC Western Division crown and a shot at Florida or Georgia in the SEC Championship game.
Some of you might ask, “What about Ole Miss?” The pundits are convinced they will play Florida in the title match. Well, those of us who’ve studied Houston Nutt know that (and I keep bringing it up), somewhere in the course of the season, he’ll blow a game he’s supposed to win - it happens every year. In fact, I think that is exactly why Arkansas fired him. That’s right Rebel fans, Arkansas cut Nutt loose for “choking.” Putting your faith in Coach Nutt is futile. Under his guidance, I’m afraid Ole Miss is destined to remain a pretender.Ah yes, the Houston Nutt argument. For those who have actually taken the time to look at things – like cocknfire did here – there’s actually a different story. But we shouldn’t let facts get in the way of this argument. Sure, Nutt’s teams have dropped some games they shouldn’t have – it’s part of the game – but I don’t recall Nutt comparing those losses to “catastrophic events” like Pearl Harbor or the 9/11 Attacks. Saban’s Tide were embarrassed last year in the Sugar Bowl by Utah in a game Alabama was supposed to win. Let's not forget that Saban can scratch losses to UAB and Louisiana-Monroe off his bucket list as well.
I do find it interesting though that he brings up coaching trends. In his 13 seasons of being a head coach in college football, Saban’s teams have won 10+ games 3 times: 2001, 2003, and 2009. His teams won 8 and 9 games in 2002 and 2004 respectively, meaning he’s never won 10+ games in back to back seasons. It’s going to take 6+ SEC wins to win the SEC West this year, meaning the Tide will need 10+ wins to secure it. According to Shane’s logic, history always repeats itself, so there’s no way Alabama win double-digit games this year, right?
Also, given Saban's inability to win double-digit games in back-to-back seasons, this statement becomes even more outlandish than it first appears:
I have no doubt that these two SEC “superpowers” will meet in Atlanta for the next three or four years in a row.And if we're dwelling on trends, then Alabama will be back on probation in, what? 2011? Maybe 2012?
But hey, it's all just posturing at this point. All that matters is this... both teams have a legitimate shot at being undefeated when they clash on October 10th, setting up the biggest game in Oxford in decades, certainly since LSU in 2003. The winner of that game will have the inside track for the SEC Western Division crown and a shot at Florida or Georgia in the SEC Championship game.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Any idiot can write on the internets
The very existence of this blog should be proof of that, though I at least (occasionally) try to minimize the idiotic statements on this page. That's more than can be said for Jeremy Wood at The Barrow County News, who, as Senator Blutarsky points out, has created "easily the worst SEC preview I’ve read so far this preseason".
Here is Mr. Wood's assessment of the Rebels, with the emphasis mine:
Same thing with Texas Tech. The Red Raiders just weren't ready for the team speed on defense and had no answer for the Wild Rebel. It had nothing to do with disinterest. They got hit in the mouth and had no answer. So they folded.
And as laughable as his assessment of Ole Miss is, at least he (sort of) attempts to justify it with some sort of reason. For Alabama, he just uses good old fashioned bias:
Here is Mr. Wood's assessment of the Rebels, with the emphasis mine:
Everyone seems to love these guys a little too much. They lucked into a win at Florida last year when the Gators couldn’t hang onto the ball, and beat an underwhelming LSU team and a we’re-not-interested-in-playing-in-the-Cotton-Bowl Texas Tech team down the stretch. Now they’re a top-ten team? They could take over for the 2008 Georgia Bulldogs as the team that was saddled with huge expectations and didn’t come through. Georgia in 2008 was much better than these guys are, and that Bulldog team couldn’t win their division. The caveat with Ole Miss is that they have the softest non-league slate of anybody in the conference – playing at Memphis will be their toughest opponent – and it wouldn’t completely surprise me to see them undefeated ... when LSU comes to town Nov. 21.First off, you can never love the Rebels too much. But seriously, if the Rebels are undefeated on November 21st when LSU rolls into town, that's equivalent to a 10-0, 6-0 record, which would undoubtedly have any SEC team in the Top 10. I also don't get why Wood (and so many others for that matter) try to cheapen the Rebels wins over UF and TTU last season. All the Florida fans that I've talked to will freely admit that the Rebels just beat them at the line of scrimmage all day long. Sure Florida was the better team last year, but for one day in Gainesville last year, the Rebels just straight up outplayed them.
Same thing with Texas Tech. The Red Raiders just weren't ready for the team speed on defense and had no answer for the Wild Rebel. It had nothing to do with disinterest. They got hit in the mouth and had no answer. So they folded.
And as laughable as his assessment of Ole Miss is, at least he (sort of) attempts to justify it with some sort of reason. For Alabama, he just uses good old fashioned bias:
My favorite program to root against in the conference (I can’t stand Saban). They lost a veteran quarterback and four starters off their offensive line, which was their biggest strength a year ago. It definitely feels like a 7-5 team.
Friday, August 7, 2009
2009 Preseason Coaches' poll released
So the coaches' poll came out today and, as expected, the Rebels are ranked in the Top 10. Alabama, as expected is ranked ahead of the Rebels at #5. What caught my attention is that LSU is ahead of the Rebels at #9.
Again, I ask, why is LSU going to be so much better this year? Sure Chavis will make a big difference on the defense - it can't be much worse - but why should I (or anyone not drining purple/gold kool-aid) believe that the offense is going to be more consistent this year? They are relying on a QB who is 0-2 against SEC competition as a starter and touted as a mobile QB despite a paltry 2.7 ypc average last year.
If not for a pair of goal line knees last year, the Rebels would've beaten the Tigers by 25 points last year in Baton Rouge. Sure the Tigers have the overrated Charles Scott to pound the ball with, but asking Jordan Jefferson to be productive enough to give Scott room to manuever is going to be more difficult than many Tiger fans seem to realize. Particularly when the Tigers draw both UGA and Florida out of the East, the two teams the Rebels avoid.
Obviously, it's all speculation at this point, and my view of it will certainly be viewed as biased at any point. That said, I can't think of one good reason a team that finished with an 8-5 record and has no proven QB on the roster would be ranked ahead of a team that finished on a 6-game tear and a darkhorse Heisman contender other than reputation.
Again, I ask, why is LSU going to be so much better this year? Sure Chavis will make a big difference on the defense - it can't be much worse - but why should I (or anyone not drining purple/gold kool-aid) believe that the offense is going to be more consistent this year? They are relying on a QB who is 0-2 against SEC competition as a starter and touted as a mobile QB despite a paltry 2.7 ypc average last year.
If not for a pair of goal line knees last year, the Rebels would've beaten the Tigers by 25 points last year in Baton Rouge. Sure the Tigers have the overrated Charles Scott to pound the ball with, but asking Jordan Jefferson to be productive enough to give Scott room to manuever is going to be more difficult than many Tiger fans seem to realize. Particularly when the Tigers draw both UGA and Florida out of the East, the two teams the Rebels avoid.
Obviously, it's all speculation at this point, and my view of it will certainly be viewed as biased at any point. That said, I can't think of one good reason a team that finished with an 8-5 record and has no proven QB on the roster would be ranked ahead of a team that finished on a 6-game tear and a darkhorse Heisman contender other than reputation.
Friday Lunchtime Links
* This is a good read about Tony Fein and his winding path to Ole Miss and now the Ravens. Fein joins former Rebel teammates Michael Oher and Jason Cook as those competing for a spot on the roster.
* Looks like Lou Holtz will lisping and drooling next to Mark May for the foreseeable future. It's a shame really... his pep talks could have been just what people needed after being subjected to Corrine Brown.
* Ed Orgeron is making his presence felt in Knoxville. Lane Kiffin even drops this bomb about EOr:
* The Toccoa Record feels Javan Snead won't lead the Rebels to a Western Division title this year. Is that Jevan's less talented twin?
* In Alabama, there's a new play entitled Bear Country. There's a reason the old joke "What's the difference between a maggot and a Tide fan?" has stuck around so long
* JuCo All American over at RCR gets a little more in-depth in his rebuttal than I did of ATVS's thesis on why the Rebels won't win the West this season. Take a look when you get a chance.
* Looks like Lou Holtz will lisping and drooling next to Mark May for the foreseeable future. It's a shame really... his pep talks could have been just what people needed after being subjected to Corrine Brown.
* Ed Orgeron is making his presence felt in Knoxville. Lane Kiffin even drops this bomb about EOr:
this is somebody who can run our program exactly the way we need it run to be a national championship teamYep, as long as you keep him away from microphones, staff hirings, the offense, and overall game planning, he's an effective coach.
* The Toccoa Record feels Javan Snead won't lead the Rebels to a Western Division title this year. Is that Jevan's less talented twin?
* In Alabama, there's a new play entitled Bear Country. There's a reason the old joke "What's the difference between a maggot and a Tide fan?" has stuck around so long
* JuCo All American over at RCR gets a little more in-depth in his rebuttal than I did of ATVS's thesis on why the Rebels won't win the West this season. Take a look when you get a chance.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Rebels drafted 29th in college football program draft

Using the following criteria, sportswriters at espn.com selected the Rebels #29 in their college football program draft:
We'll be drafting the most successful programs in the nation, based on whatever criteria each of us chooses to bring to the situation room. There is no set formula for this. Wins and losses matter most -- and what you've done in the 21st century is more important than what happened in the 1930s -- but fan following and overall prestige count, too.The Rebels checked in at #7 in the conference, which is fair. What's not surprising is that Kentucky, Vanderbilt, and Mississippi State weren't selected. They're certainly the also-rans in SEC football. What was surprising is that South Carolina was selected, and that they were selected ahead of Arkansas. The Gamecocks lone claim to football relevance is that Thenator Lou Holth and a disinterested, strangely timid version of Steve Spurrier are their last two coaches.
But in answer to Pat Forde's question... Why yes, yes we are going to pretend the Ed Orgeron/10-25 trainwreck never happened. I've been doing that since he was hired in 2005
The rest of the SEC went like this:
2) Florida
5) LSU
8) Alabama
10) Georgia
15) Tennessee
19) Auburn
29) Ole Miss
33) South Carolina
35) Arkansas
Tuesday Linkage
* An amusing read from Souvenir City about a Big12 Rivals writer calling the SEC Overated.
* Reason #4,576 that SEC Football is the best in the land... Houston Nutt is in the top 10% nationwide for salaries, which is good enough to land him 6th in the SEC.
* Reason #4,577 that SEC Football is the best in the land... This quote right here from The Daily Illini:
Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez even had this to say:
* There's a piece in The Sun Herald today that really offers no newsworthy information... lots of hype in Oxford, Jevan Snead is good, Paul Finebaum is an idiot, Ole Miss has never to Atlanta, etc. But I did want to make a comment or two on this excerpt:
* Reason #4,576 that SEC Football is the best in the land... Houston Nutt is in the top 10% nationwide for salaries, which is good enough to land him 6th in the SEC.
* Reason #4,577 that SEC Football is the best in the land... This quote right here from The Daily Illini:
Reporters at Big Ten Media Days didn't focus on Tebow, but there was no shortage of discussion on the SEC.While I wasn't at SEC Media days, I feel certain that Houston Nutt, Urban Myer, Lane Kiffin, et al, weren't fielding questions comapring the SEC to the Big 10.
Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez even had this to say:
"I think our league is poised to have a big bowl performance situation very, very soon if you look at who's coming back in our league and the teams ... As a league, once we get a few big wins, whether it's regular season, nonconference, a BCS bowl or bowl games, that perception will change,"Talking about it and doing it are two completely different animals though. Talking about it won't make the players in the Big10 bigger, stronger, faster, better. That's the difference between the leagues right now... not perception.
* There's a piece in The Sun Herald today that really offers no newsworthy information... lots of hype in Oxford, Jevan Snead is good, Paul Finebaum is an idiot, Ole Miss has never to Atlanta, etc. But I did want to make a comment or two on this excerpt:
Ole Miss is generating this buzz based on three or four things:I'll grant Mashek that those are all major factors in the hype. It certainly doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure that out. But in no way shape or form is that the limit of what is generating this buzz. Here are 3 more that popped into my head while I read this.
1) The Rebels are loaded on the defensive line, even after Peria Jerry’s departure;
2) They waylaid LSU at Tiger Stadium, and were the only team to beat Tim Tebow and Florida in 2008;
3) They can score points in bunches and move the football, whether they’re in their conventional offense or Houston Nutt’s beloved “Wild Rebel” scheme;
4) And most important, they’ve got a big-time quarterback.
- The Rebels have as strong a stable of running backs as they ever have. Their ability to break away is key to Jevan Snead having space to throw in
- Alabama and LSU both come to Oxford this year
- And, perhaps most importantly, the other starting QBs in the division have yet to prove themselves on the field. Ryan Mallett seems to be regarded as the best of the bunch, but he's going to be working behind a patchwork OL, runs about a 10.9 40, and struggled mightily against Big10 defenses. Jordan Jefferson and Greg McElroy will be working with talent around them, but are unproven commodities at this point. Snead is the only one in the West, and one of two in the conference, that you know what you're going to get on a week to week basis.
Labels:
Alabama,
General Idiocy,
Hype,
Jevan Snead,
LSU,
Random crap,
Right Reverend Houston Nutt
Monday, August 3, 2009
The best femullet you'll see all day
I'll grant you this has nothing to do with SEC football, but THIS is a fine example of a femullet. This is what the daughters of Alabama fans take to SuperCuts so they can "look like Daddy."
Thursday, April 9, 2009
SEC Football as Tom Hanks movies
So I'm a few New Belgium Mighty Arrows into the Final Four games Saturday night and start thumbing through the guide during a commercial break when I stumbled across three Tom Hanks movies on at the same time. While the beer certainly didn't live up the standards set by its Fat Tire brethren, it did help inspire this ridiculous post.
So, here they are, without further ado, all 12 SEC football teams as Tom Hanks movies. Got better suggestions? Leave ‘em in the comments.
Alabama: Turner & Hooch
Detective Scott Turner is a straight laced, no frills kind of detective. Nick Saban is a no-nonsense, no frills kind of coach – never a hair out of place in his feathery bangs. Between his owner dying and pairing up with Turner, Hooch was a mess. He drooled everywhere, tore things up, and basically a lost cause. Between the Bear dying and before hiring Saban, Alabama was much the same way. Sure they would do well every now and then, but they had to cheat to do it. They bought a national title in the early 90s, then suffered through several ignominious years before hiring Saban.
Arkansas: Catch Me If You Can
In his early days, Frank Abagnale imitated an airline pilot, a teacher’s assistant, a doctor, and an attorney. When things took a turn for the worse, he’d disappear in the night and move on to his next gig. Finally, after getting busted, he aligned himself with Hanks’ Carl Hanratty and began improving national fraud defense. Bobby Petrino is currently at his 12th coaching spot since entering the business in 1983. He’s been the head coach of 3 different teams in the last 5 years and has flirted with several others. He seems to have found a niche in Fayetteville though and the Hogs have a chance to be much improved from last season.
Auburn: Apollo 13
Before takeoff, everyone was excited about Apollo 13’s mission to the moon. Last season was supposed to be a good one for Auburn. A new high-flying offense was in place, the defense returned 6 of its starting back 7, and the Tigers were ranked as high as #10 in the preseason. Needless to say, much-like the ill-fated Apollo 13 lunar mission, Auburn’s season encountered problem after problem. There was bickering amongst staff before finally crashing roughly back to earth at the end. The major difference being that Jim Lovell was congratulated for his leadership in the “successful failure” that was Apollo 13; Tommy Tuberville was inexplicably shown the door.
Florida: Sleepless in Seattle
After Sam Baldwin's wife died, he looked lost and clueless, and didn't know who to turn to. He packs up and moves out west and begins dating a girl that his son can't stand. He finally meets the one he's meant to be with at the end and live happily ever after. After Spurrier left Florida, the Gators looked lost and clueless, seeking solace in the arms of Ron Zook, who the Gator Nation hated from the beginning. Now, they've found Urban Meyer and have won 2 titles in 3 years and will be favored to win it all next year.
Georgia: Bonfire of the Vanities
Tom Wolfe’s Bonfire of the Vanities is a fantastic novel that was a bestseller and huge success. Unfortunately, despite a All-Star cast with Hanks, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Melanie Griffith, etc., the movie version pretty much sucked. When you read about Georgia’s team, the star power was obvious – Stafford, Moreno, Green, etc. Expectations were very high, including a preseason #1 ranking. Then, much like BotV, when you watched it on TV, you realize it’s a little disappointing on screen.
Kentucky: Saving Private Ryan
The beginning of Saving Private Ryan – the storming of the beaches at Normandy – is absolutely phenomenal. It’s beautifully crafted cinematography at its peak. Once the movie settles in though, it’s really not that different from every other war movie ever filmed. There’s a little bit of a twist at the end of the movie to tie it all together. The last two seasons, Kentucky has started out as well as possible: 5-0 and 4-0. Once the seasons settled in, the ‘Cats were average at best, finishing only 7-5 and 6-5. The bowl victories were nice surprises to wrap up the seasons.
LSU: The Man with One Red Shoe
Richard Drew is just an average joe who - due to circumstances beyond his control - looks goofy as he wears mismatched shoes on a flight. He is identified as a CIA target, and though he remains completely oblivious to everything around him, it all works out for him in the end. Les Miles always looks goofy wearing the world's largest hat and was certainly an average joe at Oklahoma State - 28-21 overall, 16-16 in the Big 12. And things have certainly worked out well for Miles so far, despite a seemingly oblivious approach to coaching.
Mississippi State: You’ve Got Mail
While I'm not a fan of either Sleepless in Seattle or You've Got Mail, I know a cheap knock off when I see one. The producers of You've Got Mail were trying to cash in on the chemistry that Hanks and Meg Ryan had in Sleepless in Seattle, but the result just wasn't as good. Same thing in Starkville. Hoping to recreate some of the recent magic in Gainesville, the Bulldogs hired away Dan Mullen from Meyer's staff, and while the results have yet to be seen, it's hard to imagine the end result being anything less than a poor attempt at recreating UF's offense.
Ole Miss: That Thing You Do!
Mr. White takes a group of talented musicians with no experience outside the town of Erie, PA, and molds them into the No. 1 rock band in the country. Houston Nutt, stepped into Oxford and took a group of talented kids who had never been shown "how to win" and recorded a 9-4 season and a Cotton Bowl victory. The major difference being that The Wonders broke up at the end of the movie, while Nutt seems to have the Rebels in place to continue their success.
South Carolina: Volunteers
Lawrence Whatley Bourne III had it all. He was a spoiled rich kid leading a pampered life until he had to join the Peace Corps to escape his creditors. Steve Spurrier had it all. He’d won a National championship as the coach of his alma mater, had the Gators as one of the top programs in the entire country, and a fun punching bag in Phil Fulmer. He got greedy, left for the NFL, and when that didn’t work out, sought refuge in Columbia where – so far – has done more to tarnish his legacy than build upon it.
Tennessee: The Terminal
What? You were expecting Volunteers? Think about it… Viktor Navorski can’t go back to whence he came as a war broke out. So he’s stuck in a foreign land, has trouble communicating with people, garners strange looks from people, and eventually makes some important friends in the airport. That’s pretty much the Lane Kiffin experience. He can’t go back to the NFL because he angered Al Davis, he’s become a one-man sideshow that it’s hard not to stop and stare at, he's found it very difficult to communicate with his peers, but he did surround himself with a knowledgeable staff.
Vanderbilt: Big
All Josh Baskin wanted to be was big. He couldn’t get the girl or ride the roller coaster, so Zoltar granted him his wish. He grew up, moved to New York and got to play with the big boys, before wishing to be a boy again. After years of wishing they were big, the Commodores finally broke through last year with their first bowl appearance since 1982. Unfortunately, like Josh Baskin’s appearance as an adult, Vandy’s was a ruse and one that won’t last, but one that made for good tv while it did.
So, here they are, without further ado, all 12 SEC football teams as Tom Hanks movies. Got better suggestions? Leave ‘em in the comments.
Alabama: Turner & Hooch
Detective Scott Turner is a straight laced, no frills kind of detective. Nick Saban is a no-nonsense, no frills kind of coach – never a hair out of place in his feathery bangs. Between his owner dying and pairing up with Turner, Hooch was a mess. He drooled everywhere, tore things up, and basically a lost cause. Between the Bear dying and before hiring Saban, Alabama was much the same way. Sure they would do well every now and then, but they had to cheat to do it. They bought a national title in the early 90s, then suffered through several ignominious years before hiring Saban.
Arkansas: Catch Me If You Can
In his early days, Frank Abagnale imitated an airline pilot, a teacher’s assistant, a doctor, and an attorney. When things took a turn for the worse, he’d disappear in the night and move on to his next gig. Finally, after getting busted, he aligned himself with Hanks’ Carl Hanratty and began improving national fraud defense. Bobby Petrino is currently at his 12th coaching spot since entering the business in 1983. He’s been the head coach of 3 different teams in the last 5 years and has flirted with several others. He seems to have found a niche in Fayetteville though and the Hogs have a chance to be much improved from last season.
Auburn: Apollo 13
Before takeoff, everyone was excited about Apollo 13’s mission to the moon. Last season was supposed to be a good one for Auburn. A new high-flying offense was in place, the defense returned 6 of its starting back 7, and the Tigers were ranked as high as #10 in the preseason. Needless to say, much-like the ill-fated Apollo 13 lunar mission, Auburn’s season encountered problem after problem. There was bickering amongst staff before finally crashing roughly back to earth at the end. The major difference being that Jim Lovell was congratulated for his leadership in the “successful failure” that was Apollo 13; Tommy Tuberville was inexplicably shown the door.
Florida: Sleepless in Seattle
After Sam Baldwin's wife died, he looked lost and clueless, and didn't know who to turn to. He packs up and moves out west and begins dating a girl that his son can't stand. He finally meets the one he's meant to be with at the end and live happily ever after. After Spurrier left Florida, the Gators looked lost and clueless, seeking solace in the arms of Ron Zook, who the Gator Nation hated from the beginning. Now, they've found Urban Meyer and have won 2 titles in 3 years and will be favored to win it all next year.
Georgia: Bonfire of the Vanities
Tom Wolfe’s Bonfire of the Vanities is a fantastic novel that was a bestseller and huge success. Unfortunately, despite a All-Star cast with Hanks, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Melanie Griffith, etc., the movie version pretty much sucked. When you read about Georgia’s team, the star power was obvious – Stafford, Moreno, Green, etc. Expectations were very high, including a preseason #1 ranking. Then, much like BotV, when you watched it on TV, you realize it’s a little disappointing on screen.
Kentucky: Saving Private Ryan
The beginning of Saving Private Ryan – the storming of the beaches at Normandy – is absolutely phenomenal. It’s beautifully crafted cinematography at its peak. Once the movie settles in though, it’s really not that different from every other war movie ever filmed. There’s a little bit of a twist at the end of the movie to tie it all together. The last two seasons, Kentucky has started out as well as possible: 5-0 and 4-0. Once the seasons settled in, the ‘Cats were average at best, finishing only 7-5 and 6-5. The bowl victories were nice surprises to wrap up the seasons.
LSU: The Man with One Red Shoe
Richard Drew is just an average joe who - due to circumstances beyond his control - looks goofy as he wears mismatched shoes on a flight. He is identified as a CIA target, and though he remains completely oblivious to everything around him, it all works out for him in the end. Les Miles always looks goofy wearing the world's largest hat and was certainly an average joe at Oklahoma State - 28-21 overall, 16-16 in the Big 12. And things have certainly worked out well for Miles so far, despite a seemingly oblivious approach to coaching.
Mississippi State: You’ve Got Mail
While I'm not a fan of either Sleepless in Seattle or You've Got Mail, I know a cheap knock off when I see one. The producers of You've Got Mail were trying to cash in on the chemistry that Hanks and Meg Ryan had in Sleepless in Seattle, but the result just wasn't as good. Same thing in Starkville. Hoping to recreate some of the recent magic in Gainesville, the Bulldogs hired away Dan Mullen from Meyer's staff, and while the results have yet to be seen, it's hard to imagine the end result being anything less than a poor attempt at recreating UF's offense.
Ole Miss: That Thing You Do!
Mr. White takes a group of talented musicians with no experience outside the town of Erie, PA, and molds them into the No. 1 rock band in the country. Houston Nutt, stepped into Oxford and took a group of talented kids who had never been shown "how to win" and recorded a 9-4 season and a Cotton Bowl victory. The major difference being that The Wonders broke up at the end of the movie, while Nutt seems to have the Rebels in place to continue their success.
South Carolina: Volunteers
Lawrence Whatley Bourne III had it all. He was a spoiled rich kid leading a pampered life until he had to join the Peace Corps to escape his creditors. Steve Spurrier had it all. He’d won a National championship as the coach of his alma mater, had the Gators as one of the top programs in the entire country, and a fun punching bag in Phil Fulmer. He got greedy, left for the NFL, and when that didn’t work out, sought refuge in Columbia where – so far – has done more to tarnish his legacy than build upon it.
Tennessee: The Terminal
What? You were expecting Volunteers? Think about it… Viktor Navorski can’t go back to whence he came as a war broke out. So he’s stuck in a foreign land, has trouble communicating with people, garners strange looks from people, and eventually makes some important friends in the airport. That’s pretty much the Lane Kiffin experience. He can’t go back to the NFL because he angered Al Davis, he’s become a one-man sideshow that it’s hard not to stop and stare at, he's found it very difficult to communicate with his peers, but he did surround himself with a knowledgeable staff.
Vanderbilt: Big
All Josh Baskin wanted to be was big. He couldn’t get the girl or ride the roller coaster, so Zoltar granted him his wish. He grew up, moved to New York and got to play with the big boys, before wishing to be a boy again. After years of wishing they were big, the Commodores finally broke through last year with their first bowl appearance since 1982. Unfortunately, like Josh Baskin’s appearance as an adult, Vandy’s was a ruse and one that won’t last, but one that made for good tv while it did.
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Thursday, March 19, 2009
It's the coaches, stupid
Much like football season, we've heard all season long how the SEC is way down in basketball this season. While the football claims were proven a bit incorrect, there is no disputing the fact that the SEC just isn't what it used to be in hoops. This article in the Nashville City Paper lists a few possible reasons why, but it leaves off the most important reason: the quality of coaches just ain't what it used to be.
We're certainly as guilty as any school in the conference as we clung to Rod Barnes two years too long. Once Marc Dukes retired, the program spiraled to the ground at breakneck pace. And while the SEC was never filled with future HOF coaches, it never had as high a percentage of bad coaches as it has had in the last few years.
Here's a breakdown of the current SEC coaches:
Stars:
Florida
Billy Donovan is obviously the most accomplished coach in the SEC, but the Gators haven't been quite the same since Anthony Grant took the head job at VCU (which is 76-25 in his 3 years there.) There's always an influx of good talent in Gainesville, and the man's got two national titles.
Tennessee
Talk about breathing new life into a program. Pearl took over the Vols after a series of non-descript sleepy coaches and has Knoxville talking men's hoops for a change.
Solid:
Mississippi State
I'll put aside my bias here and say that Rick Stansbury has far exceeded my expectations there. When he was hired, his only real qualification was being Richard Williams' bag man, but he's got the Bulldogs as one of the most consistent programs in the conference.
Vanderbilt
Kevin Stallings has done some good things as Vanderbilt, certainly better than Jan van Brenda Kolfff. The 'Dores have been fairly consistent winners under his watch. They slipped a bit this year, but bring back a solid nucleus of players for next season.
Headed in right direction:
LSU
Aaah, John Brady. Uber-recruiter, but couldn't tell you an X from an O. And he always looked disheveled on the sidelines. Sure the Tigers made a few nice runs in the tourney under Brady's watch, but those were done on talent alone. Trent Johnson is a good coach, but we'll know more next year when he actually has to play underclassmen.
Ole Miss
Again, I'll put my bias aside (as best I can) and say that the hiring of Andy Kennedy was a very good one. He had the team on the bubble his first two seasons in Oxford, and held together a train wreck of a season this past year.
South Carolina
Darrin Horn brought a higher energy level than Dave Odom did, but my grandmom probably would too. It's a bit early to make the call on him, but he won big at WKU, and he's off to a good start in Columbia.
Next to be purged:
Auburn
Jeff Lebo's job was on death's door in the early part of last season before a late season rally saved him. He's a decent enough coach, but there's no reason to believe he'll be anything more than an average coach in the SEC.
Arkansas
John Pelphrey is a joke. I know the Hogs are enamored with him, I just haven't figured out why. Had he not played at Kentucky, there's no way the Ginger Kid hired by an SEC school. I understand the Hogs firing Stan Heath. It was a questionable hire from the beginning after just one year of success with an inherited Kent State team. But Pelphrey is not the answer. Not one player on that team this year got better as the year wore on. He'll be fired after the 2010-11 season.
Kentucky
The 'Cats - like Arky - made an outright bad choice when they hired Billy Gillispie. He's been the mastermind of some of the most embarrassing losses in UK history and is the architect of the first Wildcat team in nearly two decades to not Dance at the end of the season. It's gotta be tough for the Big Blue to see Pitino and Louisville as the #1 overall seed and Tubby Smith and Minnesota making a (very brief) appearance in the Tourney. As long as Gillispie's there, it's tough to see them doing anything but underachieving. I'd not be surprised to see John Calipari roaming the UK sidelines next year.
In Transition
Alabama
Mark Gottfried patrolled the sidelines for 10+ years in Tuscaloosa and brought in several highly touted players. While he did take the Tide to the Elite 8 in 2003-04, that's about it. Alabama brass has said they'll pay ~$2M to bring in the right coach this time. Whether it's Mike Anderson or Tim Floyd or Anthony Grant or Oliver Purnell, it'll certainly be a step in the right direction from Gottfried.
Georgia
As long as the Bulldogs avoid the publicity stunt and not hire Bobby Knight, they can make a real upgrade from Dennis Felton. They made the worst hire in recent SEC history several years back with Jim Harrick, but with Anthony Grant available, it's hard to imagine he's not in Athens next year.
We're certainly as guilty as any school in the conference as we clung to Rod Barnes two years too long. Once Marc Dukes retired, the program spiraled to the ground at breakneck pace. And while the SEC was never filled with future HOF coaches, it never had as high a percentage of bad coaches as it has had in the last few years.
Here's a breakdown of the current SEC coaches:
Stars:
Florida
Billy Donovan is obviously the most accomplished coach in the SEC, but the Gators haven't been quite the same since Anthony Grant took the head job at VCU (which is 76-25 in his 3 years there.) There's always an influx of good talent in Gainesville, and the man's got two national titles.
Tennessee
Talk about breathing new life into a program. Pearl took over the Vols after a series of non-descript sleepy coaches and has Knoxville talking men's hoops for a change.
Solid:
Mississippi State
I'll put aside my bias here and say that Rick Stansbury has far exceeded my expectations there. When he was hired, his only real qualification was being Richard Williams' bag man, but he's got the Bulldogs as one of the most consistent programs in the conference.
Vanderbilt
Kevin Stallings has done some good things as Vanderbilt, certainly better than Jan van Brenda Kolfff. The 'Dores have been fairly consistent winners under his watch. They slipped a bit this year, but bring back a solid nucleus of players for next season.
Headed in right direction:
LSU
Aaah, John Brady. Uber-recruiter, but couldn't tell you an X from an O. And he always looked disheveled on the sidelines. Sure the Tigers made a few nice runs in the tourney under Brady's watch, but those were done on talent alone. Trent Johnson is a good coach, but we'll know more next year when he actually has to play underclassmen.
Ole Miss
Again, I'll put my bias aside (as best I can) and say that the hiring of Andy Kennedy was a very good one. He had the team on the bubble his first two seasons in Oxford, and held together a train wreck of a season this past year.
South Carolina
Darrin Horn brought a higher energy level than Dave Odom did, but my grandmom probably would too. It's a bit early to make the call on him, but he won big at WKU, and he's off to a good start in Columbia.
Next to be purged:
Auburn
Jeff Lebo's job was on death's door in the early part of last season before a late season rally saved him. He's a decent enough coach, but there's no reason to believe he'll be anything more than an average coach in the SEC.
Arkansas
John Pelphrey is a joke. I know the Hogs are enamored with him, I just haven't figured out why. Had he not played at Kentucky, there's no way the Ginger Kid hired by an SEC school. I understand the Hogs firing Stan Heath. It was a questionable hire from the beginning after just one year of success with an inherited Kent State team. But Pelphrey is not the answer. Not one player on that team this year got better as the year wore on. He'll be fired after the 2010-11 season.
Kentucky
The 'Cats - like Arky - made an outright bad choice when they hired Billy Gillispie. He's been the mastermind of some of the most embarrassing losses in UK history and is the architect of the first Wildcat team in nearly two decades to not Dance at the end of the season. It's gotta be tough for the Big Blue to see Pitino and Louisville as the #1 overall seed and Tubby Smith and Minnesota making a (very brief) appearance in the Tourney. As long as Gillispie's there, it's tough to see them doing anything but underachieving. I'd not be surprised to see John Calipari roaming the UK sidelines next year.
In Transition
Alabama
Mark Gottfried patrolled the sidelines for 10+ years in Tuscaloosa and brought in several highly touted players. While he did take the Tide to the Elite 8 in 2003-04, that's about it. Alabama brass has said they'll pay ~$2M to bring in the right coach this time. Whether it's Mike Anderson or Tim Floyd or Anthony Grant or Oliver Purnell, it'll certainly be a step in the right direction from Gottfried.
Georgia
As long as the Bulldogs avoid the publicity stunt and not hire Bobby Knight, they can make a real upgrade from Dennis Felton. They made the worst hire in recent SEC history several years back with Jim Harrick, but with Anthony Grant available, it's hard to imagine he's not in Athens next year.
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